Savvy Tokyo's resident "Love in Japan" columnist, Hilary Keyes, answers anonymous questions from readers on everything from dating in Japan to women’s health issues. Got something you’d like to ask Hilary?
My boyfriend and I have been together for six months. Due to the pandemic, he advised me to quit my night job in Japan and go back to my country to be with my kids (I’m a single mom). He gave me enough money for a year since it’s hard to get a job nowadays. He gave me money for my son’s therapy. He also gave me advance gifts for Christmas and my birthday in March.
It’s my first time having a long distance relationship. I am 36 years old and he is 52 years old. He doesn’t have any social media accounts. His cell phone is old and only good for calls, texts, or emails. When I asked how we would communicate, he said by emails only.
He said our target to meet after the pandemic was maybe for his birthday in June, he could come visit me in my country. Or if it’s possible, I can visit him for my birthday in March.
Do you think he really loves me, or he just enjoyed my company, or are his feelings only starting to develop?
— First LDR
Dear First LDR,
I hope you and your kids are doing all right.
I want to repeat what you stated in your email: you met during a night job, then because of the pandemic he gave you a substantial sum of money, had you quit your job, sent you back to your home country and only allows you to contact him by email.
I’m more than slightly concerned about you actually falling in love with him. If your best friend told you the same story, what would your first reaction be? I’m pretty sure you would be worried about your friend.
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