politics

Mayor defends councilwoman's ouster over sexual assault claim

69 Comments
By MARI YAMAGUCHI

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Ms. Arai might very well be a victim of sexual assault, as she claims. However, any person who accuses another of rape without a shred of evidence should probably expect some blowback. Otherwise, how are the innocent protected against false accusations?

-4 ( +24 / -28 )

If she made it up then she shouldn't be a councilwoman in the city government.

-13 ( +18 / -31 )

If she made it up then she shouldn't be a councilwoman in the city government.

Well, 99.99% of women do not go around making up these allegations as the push back, as we see, is so horrific, plus the toll on the family of the women. Saying that, if there was a rape, and I am not clear on this, she should have gone to the police and had a DNA sample taken. But, a lot of questions remain. Where did this take place? Most offices are busy. Anyhow, this reaction from the mayor and his BOYS is making the town and Japan look like a bunch of throwbacks. It makes it difficult for women who do have serious allegations to come forward! The best hope for Japanese working women is just to leave Japan for safer and greener shores! Many are already doing that!

13 ( +28 / -15 )

The fact that she just quietly took her dismissal without any argument says a lot. She doesn’t have any evidence

-21 ( +11 / -32 )

Well, 99.99% of women do not go around making up these allegations as the push back

And where did you get this number from? Or did you just pull it out of a hat?

10 ( +22 / -12 )

She doesn’t have any evidence

She has her word. That's all he has too.

As for him denying it, well he would, wouldn't he. All sexual predators do, if you hadn't noticed.

17 ( +28 / -11 )

Well, 99.99% of women do not go around making up these allegations ...

Actually, the prevalence of false reporting is generally recognized to be between 2 and 10 percent.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-45565684

13 ( +21 / -8 )

Dynosaurs still roaming Japan I see.

Is this how modern day respectable people deal with allegations? There is absolutely no justification whatsoever for the mayor's lynchmob actions.

The police should have been given a chance to investigate, and the police should investigate the mayor and his mob now.

17 ( +27 / -10 )

i always give women the benefit of the doubt, but the mayor's refutation seems quite convincing. usually men in this situation say that there was consensual sex, but here the mayor is saying that there was actually no sex at all. and that it could not have happened at the alleged time because there were others in the office at that time.

-7 ( +11 / -18 )

If you are prepared to make serious accusations of criminal conduct and even publish a book telling your story, you should, at the very least, be prepared to file a criminal complaint. Arai has never gone to the police. For this reason it's not surprising that so few are prepared to believe her.

-2 ( +14 / -16 )

If the glove doesn't fit you have to acquit! We need to confirm this point.

-7 ( +7 / -14 )

The guy got in some contradictions and was corrected by the reporters.

It's worth watching it on YouTube.

15 ( +16 / -1 )

”Silence is Golden” sounds to be the message. Speak up then you will be silenced. That’s pretty much abuse in it’s roots even for an onsen community that prides it’s health oriented spas. Time for a healthy change.

13 ( +17 / -4 )

In any case, he should be wearing a real mask. Those plastic chin guards are becoming too common here. (No doubt from their abundance on variety shows where the producers want the audiences to see the mouths of the talents while they sit on cramped daises while shouting.)

19 ( +19 / -0 )

Even if everything he says is true, and she made it up entirely, it's an amazing blunder to have her removed if the concern is the town's reputation. He blew it up into an international story, and gave her more attention than she ever had before. Speaks of gross incompetence at the very least.

22 ( +22 / -0 )

It's interesting to me that people are willing to think she is lying when 1) there is no evidence she is lying; 2) women don't generally lie about rape; 3) women who come forward with rape allegations are always punished for it - so there is no impetus at all for her to report a non-exsitant rape, and every reason to keep quiet about one.

And yet people believe the mayor when 1) he has all the reason in the world to lie; 2) he refused to step back and allow an investigation; 3) we know that rape happens all the time, and that men who rape use their personal social and political power to get away with it; and 4) men always lie about the rapes they commit.

At the very least there should have been an investigation. Instead, the entire assembly decided she was lying and shut her down, virtually ensuring that she be powerless and unable to fight bakck.

This is the very epitome of rape culture and the misogyny that permeates society. This is one of the things I really hate about Japan.

19 ( +30 / -11 )

From now on I plan to refer to this town as KUSAIsatsu, because this really does stink.

15 ( +21 / -6 )

Asiaman7Today 08:12 am JST

Actually, the prevalence of false reporting is generally recognized to be between 2 and 10 percent.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-45565684

Read the entire study. It doesn't say what you are alleging that it says:

It is notable that in general the greater the scrutiny applied to police classifications (of false allegations*) the lower the rate of false reporting detected. Cumulatively, *these findings contradict the still widely promulgated stereotype that false rape allegations are a common occurrence

9 ( +16 / -7 )

Kuroiwa is seeking a criminal investigation of Arai as well as defamation damages in a civil suit.

I believe her, but proving it in court is a different matter.

-9 ( +2 / -11 )

So a woman accuses a mayor of sexual assault and the mayor and town's reaction is to fire her with no investigation into her claims, due process, or any process at all because they say her accusation is damaging the town's reputation. If this isn't a misogynistic reaction, I don't know what is. Maybe she's lying but the statistics would support at least some kind of investigation and process. I'd day that the mayor and town's reaction is damaging the town's reputation and not her accusation.

19 ( +21 / -2 )

If it happened = awful

If it didnt happen = awful

If it did happen please report to the police soon as possible.

Making public accusations many years after the fact is a bad idea, should go to the police, earlier obviously much better

Above applies to everyone

2 ( +12 / -10 )

All we can conclude here is that there is a lack of evidence for both the incident and the accusations.

She is being punished for this lack of evidence. That is a much worse look for Kusatsu than having a possibly rapey mayor.

-7 ( +6 / -13 )

@girl_in_tokyo

Read the entire study. It doesn't say what you are alleging that it says:

Perhaps you should read the study! Before your quotation above, the quotation below is provide. The authors are stressing that false reporting amounting to 2 to 10 percent would not be classified as a common occurrence.

Among the seven studies that attempted some degree of scrutiny of police classifications and/or applied a definition of false reporting at least similar to that of the IACP, the rate of false reporting, given the many sources of potential variation in findings, is relatively consistent: 

• 2.1% (Heenan & Murray, 2006)

• 2.5% (Kelly et al., 2005) 

• 3.0% (McCahill et al., 1979) 

• 5.9% (the present study) 

• 6.8% (Lonsway & Archambault, 2008) 

• 8.3% (Grace et al., 1992) 

• 10.3% (Clark & Lewis, 1977) 

• 10.9% (Harris & Grace, 1999)

-7 ( +7 / -14 )

Ms. Arai might very well be a victim of sexual assault, as she claims. However, any person who accuses another of rape without a shred of evidence should probably expect some blowback. Otherwise, how are the innocent protected against false accusations?

No. "Blowback" in the form of hounding someone from their job isn't how the "innocent are protected against false accusations."

In a rape case, as in any criminal case, the prosecutor has the burden of proving the allegations beyond a reasonable doubt. If there isn't enough evidence to meet that high standard, the defendant walks free. THAT is how the innocent are protected against false accusations.

This just reeks of a BS vendetta against somebody for daring to complain about a sexual assault.

12 ( +14 / -2 )

I'm looking forward to hearing Arai's side next Friday.

I watched some of the presser, and the final question was interesting. The reporter presented a photo that challenged the mayor's statement. He dug down. So we'll see how this pans out.

-9 ( +1 / -10 )

"...said at a news conference that Shoko Arai had to be voted out of office because she wrongfully accused him of sexual assault, endangering the town because of its heavy dependence on tourism..." And how do you argue with logic like that?

-9 ( +1 / -10 )

Asiaman7Today 10:30 am JST

Read the entire study. It doesn't say what you are alleging that it says:

Perhaps you should read the study! Before your quotation above, the quotation below is provide. The authors are stressing that false reporting amounting to 2 to 10 percent would not be classified as a common occurrence.

I did read it. And again, it doesn't say what you are asserting. You seem to be saying that a 2-10% false reporting rate is BAD, and means that lots of women lie. To the contrary, the study concludes that this rate does not imply that there is a prevalence of false accusations, and that using these stats as a way to throw doubt on women's claims is inaccurate and deceptive.

In other words, rapey men like to use these stats to help them get away with rape. So if I were you, I woudn't go waving it around as a way to support your supposition that women lie about rape. Ahem. Methinks he dost protest too much, and all that.

6 ( +13 / -7 )

@girl_in_tokyo

You seem to be saying that a 2-10% false reporting rate is BAD, and means that lots of women lie.

No, I am asserting that the research indicates that false reporting appears to occur between 2 and 10 percent of the time.

-8 ( +4 / -12 )

The irony.

-5 ( +0 / -5 )

Someone needs to teach the Japanese what 'damage control' is.

11 ( +11 / -0 )

I just wanted to add that I am really satisfied by the fact that Kusatsu is still in the news because of this. When I read the original article last week I was a bit concerned that it would just be a one day news item that everyone would forget about very quickly.

But thankfully no, here the mayor is bringing it back into the top of the news cycle and reminding anyone who missed it about what is going on in that town he runs. Looks like this will carry on for a while and the damage to the town's reputation, overwhelmingly attributable to his campaign to remove her from office and not from her allegations, will continue to snowball.

14 ( +14 / -0 )

funkymofo

I am in no way claiming that Japanese women cannot think for themselves. However, as I am sure you are aware, Japanese women (and men) can find it very difficult to say no. It's a cultural thing, and it has been written about in great detail.

13 ( +15 / -2 )

Evidence or not, that is the question.

Even if true, no evidence means no punishment.

Again medival Japan where law does not even intervene but daimyo's rule only to apply.

In a modern true democratic country, innocent until proven guilty. Works in both ways.

There is no supposedly false allegation or real rape since law not yet involved. Stop the bickering please.

-8 ( +4 / -12 )

....I don't have any photographic evidence, or research papers on the matter.

You should have stopped there.

-11 ( +1 / -12 )

Do you think those particular Japanese women whom you date are not capable of making their own decisions about whether to date you? Of course they are.

The lack of empathy shown in a number of these comments (most likely written by "expats" in Japan), comes as no surprise, because I have seen first hand how women are often treated in Japan (by "expats").

Sexual violence and consensual dating are different things, it’s disgusting that you are equating the two.

-9 ( +3 / -12 )

I’m glad I’m big and gay. Apart from homophobia, I have never experienced sexual abuse here. But my women friends tell me, it is almost accepted in Japanese society. Don’t know any other country in the world where women can’t hang their panties outside on the balcony to dry.

14 ( +16 / -2 )

In view of nimber of downvotes, I have to react : so people believe here in guilty until proven innocent ? Believe in justice by referendum ?

Please read again.

-6 ( +5 / -11 )

people believe here in guilty until proven innocent ? Believe in justice by referendum ?

No. But then, neither do people think, "Because I'm the mayor and I said so" is an acceptable defense.

11 ( +12 / -1 )

funkymofo Today 12:37 pm JS

Sexual violence and consensual dating are different things, it’s disgusting that you are equating the two.

Actually, what is truly disgusting is that many men seem to be quote purposely conflating the two as a way of justifying their own bad behavior towards women. "She didn't say no, therefore I didn't rape her" - even though she was drunk, felt pressured and intimidated, or may even have felt an implied threat of violence.

Women know we are weaker and don't stand a chance if we try to fight. We also know that a lot of men feel entitled to sex, and get violent when sex is denied them. There are numerous stories floating around of women who get murdered and beaten because they refused to have sex - and those stories never, ever leave out heads when we are confronted by an angry male who is hellbent on getting sex. It's a self-defense mechanism not to protest too much, because protesting too much could get you beaten or killed.

Maybe think about that the next time you have a date.

10 ( +15 / -5 )

saying he wanted to protect the town’s reputation.

That might work, if anyone has even heard of your town before this scandal. But now EVERY ONE knows the name of your town and your worthless sexual predator carcass.

11 ( +12 / -1 )

People read : mayor thinking he is right by winning referendum is indeed very wrong. Where else did I say opposite ?

I am pinpointing at the shortcomings of justice for both an unfounded allegation and an unfounded resolution by referendum.

Where is justice ? Why don't people call to go and help that woman to expose her claim to police ?

I suppose she tells the truth in essence but need for proof to make her claim valid. Only way is through justice, not media !

-11 ( +0 / -11 )

Actually, what is truly disgusting is that many men seem to be quote purposely conflating the two as a way of justifying their own bad behavior towards women. "She didn't say no, therefore I didn't rape her"

Thank you for making my point. Dating and consensual sex is different from being coerced or forced, ie. rape. Third time I’ve said this- yet, you somehow agree with @chabbawanga who posits that the reason some posters are insensitive, ambivalent, or according to his/her unsubstantiated anecdotal experience apparently somehow complicit or actively involved in such atrocious crimes, is the simple fact that they date Japanese women while living in Japan.

-9 ( +2 / -11 )

I’m glad I’m big and gay.

That's quite an achievement.

-7 ( +2 / -9 )

Where's her proof? If she has none, it didn't happen. You can defend her all day but the burden of proof lies on the accuser. No evidence? Case closed.

-11 ( +4 / -15 )

I'd hate to be an investigator looking into this type of 'he said, she said' case, years after the alleged crime. Without eye witnesses or material evidence how can you establish what really happened?

-8 ( +4 / -12 )

You damage my reputation, family standing, public perception,etc by using unsubstantiated claims? I WOULD DEFINITELY try to get you out of there. So would most of the people defending her.

-12 ( +3 / -15 )

Lets be real, what the heck are the police supposed to do? No evidence, happened a few years ago? Play a game of broken telephone with people's memories from 3 years ago or just build a time machine?

Both parties are at fault stop wasting my time.

-11 ( +3 / -14 )

You damage my reputation, family standing, public perception,etc by using unsubstantiated claims?

Of course they're unsubstantiated - she never claimed them until now, so when/how would they have been substantiated?

The question isn't whether they're substantiated or not, it's whether they're true or not. Interesting you left that bit of it by the wayside...

12 ( +13 / -1 )

But a woman accuses a mayor of sexual harassment and the response of the mayor and community is to fire her without investigation into her allegations, due process, or any process at all because they say that her complaint harms the reputation of the town.

13 ( +15 / -2 )

funkymofoToday 01:47 pm JST

you somehow agree with @chabbawanga who posits that the reason some posters are insensitive, ambivalent, or according to his/her unsubstantiated anecdotal experience apparently somehow complicit or actively involved in such atrocious crimes, is the simple fact that they date Japanese women while living in Japan.

Let me put it this way. Most men are pretty dumb when it comes to really understanding womens' experiences. It is a fact that men wildly underestimate the the effect their actions have on women. That makes it highly likely that any given man, has at some point in his life, scared the living hell out of a woman and made her think that he might harm her. Sometimes it is not even intentional - and being rather dumb about the experiences of women, the men don't even realize that is what has happened and continue on oblivious of the woman's racing pulse and widly beating heart that comes with a surge of adrenaline after a fright..

And of those men who have scared the hell out of a woman, some of them have actually committed rape.

That is what the other poster meant: that of the men who find it fun to try to get women to have sex with them, some of them have in fact raped those women because they were totally obvious to how she was feeling.

Maybe you don't know this, but women talk about men's cluelessness about how seduction works among ourselves all the time. We commiserate with each other over all the times we have had to yell, hit, slap, or curse at men who kept pushing for sex after we had made it clear, either by action or word, that we did not want to have sex. It is not only common, but typical, for women to have to get tough and be mean in order to make a man back off and stop trying.

Imagine next the number women who were scared, intimidated, or just too timid to curse, yell, slap, or hit the man pushing them for sex. Imagine that man the next day congratulating himself on breaking down her barriers. Then imagine the woman the next day crying in the shower because she was raped.

Does that help you at all?

Now go out there and treat the women you meet with some gd respect.

8 ( +13 / -5 )

Mocheake Today 02:20 pm JST

Where's her proof? If she has none, it didn't happen. You can defend her all day but the burden of proof lies on the accuser. No evidence? Case closed.

This seems to be the common refrain: no evidence; no crime; case closed.

Here's the thing: Witness statements are evidence.

If someone says "that man stabbed me" their statement is accepted as evidence that this man is the one who comitted the crime. But for some reason, when a woman says "that man raped me" people feel free to dismiss her witness statement as ... not evidence.

Of course, a witness statement is not enough evidence in and of itself to convict a person of a crime. There must be corroborating evidence shown in trial.

However, a witness statement IS enough to prompt an investigation - which in this case, didn't even happen.

If people really care about the truth, then they should be open to an investigation. Instead, we have multiple men here all defending the mayor, calling the woman a liar, and contending that there is "no evidence" when clearly, there is evidence - her statement in itself IS evidence.

The mayor's actions in trying to silence the witness through publicly shaming her and ensuring she is ousted from her seat are significant, specifically because of the length he went to silence her.

A man who is not guilty would welcome an investigation that would clear his name. Which is what would happen without further evidence - so why is he afraid of allowing her to show her non-existent, totally bogus, non-incriminating evidence?

4 ( +10 / -6 )

response of the mayor and community is to fire her without investigation into her allegations, due process, or any process at all because they say that her complaint harms the reputation of the town.

Yep...sure seems like Kusatsu is still stuck somewhere in samurai jidai....then again, it's not just Kusatsu.

6 ( +7 / -1 )

Arai, the only woman in the Kusatsu town assembly, accused Kuroiwa in an online book in November 2019 of forcing her to have sex with him in his office in 2015.

The question here, is what is meant by the definition of "force". Did he physically restrain and thrust himself inside her? No brainer - that is rape. But, "force" could also mean "Have sex with me or face consequences for your career".

Now, in either instance would make Kuriowa a scumbag, but if she consented to sex - even under economic duress - it is not rape. It is grounds for misconduct charges and a tribunal, though.

-7 ( +0 / -7 )

Bungle Today 05:09 pm JST.

Now, in either instance would make Kuriowa a scumbag, but if she consented to sex - even under economic duress - it is not rape. It is grounds for misconduct charges and a tribunal, though.

I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but roughly 70% of rapes are by people known to the victim, and often do not include physical force. Consent under duress, under the threat of violence, or though intimidation, is not consent - it is rape.

The ignorance in regard to the definition of rape is what truly worries me.

One reason women are afraid of men raping them is because so many men don't seem to understand what rape actually is. And if men don't actually know what rape is, not only are they much more likely to commit rape, they are also more likely to defend other men who commit rape.

This is why the term rape culture was coined.

1 ( +6 / -5 )

Ma-HuToday  08:08 am JST

She doesn’t have any evidence

She has her word. That's all he has too.

As for him denying it, well he would, wouldn't he. All sexual predators do, if you hadn't noticed.

Innocent people falsely accused would also deny it, if you hadn't noticed.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

@chumbawanga,

You have repeatedly stated that the reason for comments you believe to be misogynist have been posted here is that expats have less empathy due to the frequency with which they allegedly coerce or attempt to coerce women into sex. That is an unsustainable argument.

@girlintokyo

My argument is that a group cannot be labeled as perpetrators of a crime due to the actions of an individual, much less due to a post on a news forum that another feels is insensitive. Thank you for the detailed examination of your personal experiences, none of which I doubt, but they do not address the issue I raised. Your sanctimonious over-explaining of an irrelevant point does nothing to address that argument, unless you wish to imply that not only the subset of expats in Japan, but in fact all men, are guilty of sexual coercion and/or rape.

Now go out there and treat the women you meet with some gd respect.

Thanks again for the advice, once more neither solicited nor relevant.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

funkymofo Today 07:21 pm JST

@girlintokyo

My argument is that a group cannot be labeled as perpetrators of a crime due to the actions of an individual, much less due to a post on a news forum that another feels is insensitive.

if this is a point you are raising against me, then I'd need you to refer back to the post where I said this. I can't find it myself, so perhaps this complaint stems from a misinterpretation?

Thank you for the detailed examination of your personal experiences, none of which I doubt, but they do not address the issue I raised.

You said "some posters are insensitive, ambivalent, or according to his/her unsubstantiated anecdotal experience apparently somehow complicit or actively involved in such atrocious crimes, is the simple fact that they date Japanese women while living in Japan."

My reply addressed this in that I explained how it is that men so very often are insensitive to the feelings of women and this lack can inadvertently lead to men committing rape. Please do note that I did not specify "foreign men who date Japanese women" as this phenomena is not limited to Japan or to non-Japanese men.

Your sanctimonious over-explaining of an irrelevant point does nothing to address that argument, unless you wish to imply that not only the subset of expats in Japan, but in fact all men, are guilty of sexual coercion and/or rape.

Again, perhaps you didn't clearly understand or misinterpreted my post, because i was quite careful to use phrases like "some men" "men who" and "of those men", to make clear that it is clear that am speaking of a very specific subgroup, and #notallmen. Maybe you missed that?

Thanks again for the advice, once more neither solicited nor relevant.

Not advice - more of a strong suggestion for your own good.

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

*The mayor of a Japanese hot springs resort town on Monday denied sexual assault allegations by a former assemblywoman and defended her dismissal, saying he wanted to protect the town’s reputation. *WHAT ABOUT HER REPUTATION, Women are hesitant to report sexual harassment in Japan fearing it would be a waste and the police will blame them so they stay silent.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Again, perhaps you didn't clearly understand or misinterpreted my post, because i was quite careful to use phrases like "some men" "men who" and "of those men", to make clear that it is clear that am speaking of a very specific subgroup, and #notallmen. Maybe you missed that?

Perhaps it's you who have misinterpreted my comment. I did not say that men don't coerce or rape- I don't know how many times I have to reiterate that. I am not discussing, prosecuting, defending or commenting on the female experience of dating, nor am I suggesting that men do not behave hideously at times, nor that they should be excused such behaviour in any way. You inserted yourself into a conversation that had nothing to do with your issue of choice- which, in a public forum, is obviously your right. However, your protracted lectures lack relevance in the discussion of the slandering of foreign men in Japan and their depiction by the original commenter as implicitly guilty of such behaviours because of his/her anecdotal experience and their physical presence here.

Not advice - more of a strong suggestion for your own good.

Again, unless you are suggesting that I am party to these behaviours by the mere fact that I am A) male, or B) calling out a poster who tars all male foreigners in Japan with the same proverbial brush, your 'strong suggestion' is misguided and lacks any relevance. Maybe dispense with the indignant display, 'for your own good', as you say.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

"The mayor of a Japanese hot springs resort town on Monday denied sexual assault allegations by a former assemblywoman and defended her dismissal, saying he wanted to protect the town’s reputation."

Well, he's doing a bang-up job! Now the town is also in the news for its persecution and sexism as well as the original allegations.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

PROBABILITY SAY : HE IS GUILTY AS CHARGE EVEN MORE THAN LESS !

°

If i tell him, we have a new verity detector to protect women when they declare sexual assault so nobody can say we abuse our more protective sex protection rights, will he still say the same ? Because this is public bashing and the town is ashame because he had wrong doing toward an important woman (more than him).

Let it be heard, this is usual for important women to be attack in privacy and then social bash by sexual aggressor. This is the usual dark web advise for serial sexual rapist or woman abuser. So women are thinking about more agressive way to obtain proof.

We have the usual lied detector. We have drugs. And now we have world class profilers who can find the truth very easily talking to victims and potential agressors. This is little like genjutsu but more science.

We never think a woman is not victim, she can be oversensitive and detect the sex offender profile in advance.

So the investigation rule is : women are always (after centuries of hard core sex slaving taking away all their common rights to force them into arrange wedding with no hope for outing, we call it organise rape or rape by surprise today) victims.

We check if the sex offender was active or passive. We can check if the sex offense was a lie but with women in power, this is rarely the case. They are high valued target. Men often use rape threat to force them to shut up and then go forward even more when they have power or a feeling of freedom to do so. The men around those sex predator help them, encourage them to humiliate women to have their job or because they love to watch rape.

Sex offender reality is rarely an opportunity mistake. This is a general social profile where women are not in power in the work, the values are outdated each time we push a little to check if this was just an add. The women defending the sex offender are clearly manipulated and under informed on sexual agression. They think this is like a tatoo or for poors but not always. So it is easy to check when you want to check. And that is the problem. The new tool are blocked from law system use to let guilty men outside prison.

In Japan, this is prison who is interested because they feel mafia crime is offering official lie services (men who admit wrongly the crime to protect bosses) and they want to clean the prison from those fake criminals to put the real ones in their stead.

°

NadAge

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Let me put it this way. Most men are pretty dumb when it comes to really understanding womens' experiences.

That’s a human trait. Most women are pretty dumb when it comes to understanding men’s experiences. Or to put it another way, most humans are not very good at understanding the experiences of others if they have not had similar experiences.

But yeah, blame it all on “dumb men”.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

funkymofoDec. 15 11:09 pm JST

Perhaps it's you who have misinterpreted my comment. I did not say that men don't coerce or rape- I don't know how many times I have to reiterate that. I am not discussing, prosecuting, defending or commenting on the female experience of dating, nor am I suggesting that men do not behave hideously at times, nor that they should be excused such behaviour in any way.

Good.

You inserted yourself into a conversation that had nothing to do with your issue of choice- which, in a public forum, is obviously your right.Y

You mean I saw your comment and then replied? Um, yeah ... we are all doing that, aren't we? Isn't that why we are all here?

However, your protracted lectures lack relevance in the discussion of the slandering of foreign men in Japan and their depiction by the original commenter as implicitly guilty of such behaviours because of his/her anecdotal experience and their physical presence here.

Oh, I see what the problem is.. You are participating in a discussion, but I am "inserting myself into a conversation that has nothing to do with me." You are making on-topic points in a discussion, but I am making "irrelevant comments" and "lecturing". Got it; it's obviously my fault for having the temerity to think I have the right to comment on the subject of sexual assault.

Again, unless you are suggesting that I am party to these behaviours by the mere fact that I am A) male, or B) calling out a poster who tars all male foreigners in Japan with the same proverbial brush, your 'strong suggestion' is misguided and lacks any relevance. Maybe dispense with the indignant display, 'for your own good', as you say.

I think my points were clear, and I am not going to repeat them. Take what you will from them.

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

StrangerlandToday 01:52 am JST

That’s a human trait. Most women are pretty dumb when it comes to understanding men’s experiences.

This goes without saying.

Except we aren't talking about not knowing what an erection feels like, or how it feels to pee standing up, or what it's like to not be afraid when you walk down the street. We are talking about how men can't seem to fathom that pressuring a woman into having sex is experienced by her as sexual coercion and rape.

In other words, when women don't understand men's experiences, it doesn't result in rape.

What men should get out of this is to know that they need to be better - to listen; to not be pushy; to pay attention to and heed non-verbal signals; to check in to be sure they have consent; that the absence of "no" does not mean "yes;" and above all, not to look at women as conquests.

Or to put it another way, most humans are not very good at understanding the experiences of others if they have not had similar experiences.

But yeah, blame it all on “dumb men”.

I didn't say "dumb men". I said men are dumb about women's experiences, and you just agreed with me that "most humans are not very good at understanding the experiences of others" so I don't understand the purpose of your comment.

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That whole town must feel pretty damn stupid at the moment.

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What the hell is that mask? In what way is that protecting anybody? Look at it.

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In other words, when women don't understand men's experiences, it doesn't result in rape.

You act as if women aren't able to cause distress to men's lives as well. It's not a one-way street. Women can destroy a man's life, without laying a finger on him. That doesn't make it any less terrible.

But yeah, blame all the problems on men, because the only problems we have, have to do with our weiners:

Except we aren't talking about not knowing what an erection feels like, or how it feels to pee standing up, or what it's like to not be afraid when you walk down the street.

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StrangerlandToday 03:22 pm JST

You act as if women aren't able to cause distress to men's lives as well. It's not a one-way street. Women can destroy a man's life, without laying a finger on him. That doesn't make it any less terrible.

I'm not sure why you would think I would comment on all the ways women can destroy mens' lives when the topic of the article we are commenting on the rape of a woman by a man.

By all means we can have a discussion on how women harm men when the article is about that.

But yeah, blame all the problems on men, because the only problems we have, have to do with our weiners:

I did not "blame all the problems on men". I pointed out that men need to be far more cognizant of how women feel during sex. Which is 100% on point to the topic of this article.

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You act as if women aren't able to cause distress to men's lives as well. It's not a one-way street. Women can destroy a man's life, without laying a finger on him. That doesn't make it any less terrible.

But yeah, blame all the problems on men, because the only problems we have, have to do with our weiners:

> You act as if women aren't able to cause distress to men's lives as well. It's not a one-way street. Women can destroy a man's life, without laying a finger on him. That doesn't make it any less terrible.

I'm not sure why you would think I would comment on all the ways women can destroy mens' lives when the topic of the article we are commenting on the rape of a woman by a man.

By all means we can have a discussion on how women harm men when the article is about that.

But yeah, blame all the problems on men, because the only problems we have, have to do with our weiners:

I did not "blame all the problems on men". I pointed out that men need to be far more cognizant of how women feel during sex. Which is 100% on point to the topic of this article.

Keep going, this is getting enjoyable

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